You're not my enemy.......You're my brother!!!

As a parent there are many times that my children say things that stand out from their normal banter. Some times it provides conviction and other times it just provides a laugh. This is a story that provides both. Also, please note that the pictures have nothing in particular to do with the story. They are just included because they make me laugh.

Before I begin my story I want to mention the dangers of teaching your children the difference between right and wrong. The danger is this: If you ever mess up (not that you ever would) they will be the first to remind you about it.

Now, this story takes place (as most of the interesting ones seem to) on a day when it is just me and the kids. My wife was out with her mom and sisters. I decided to take the kids and go to Costco for lunch and groceries. To brag on them a little, they actually did great at Costco. And to brag on my accomplishment for a minute I fed all 5 of us lunch with dessert for under 12 bucks. That's the beauty of a Costco dogs and frozen yogurt. Leaving Costco is where the the title of this blog comes from.

I got the car loaded with all the kids and groceries and start to back out. As I am about half way out of my spot another car comes rushing up behind me like they are not going to stop. I hesitate my backing because I am not looking for a wreck or anything. At that point the car stops...just close enough to make it really awkward to turn any further as I continue to back out. Well, I managed to finagle my way the rest of the way out and as I do so I comment to nobody in particular, 'That guy is being an idiot."

Just then my daughter speaks up, "Dad, you said we are supposed to Love our enemies. That means we shouldn't call them names."

OUCH!! Correction from my seven year old. As I am thinking of what to say my boys come quickly to my defense.

"If you're not supposed to call them names, then why are you always calling us names," they said.

Without missing a beat my daughter responds, "You're not my enemies....you're my brothers!"


That response made me laugh a little. Then I made my apology and acknowledged that my daughter was right and we are supposed to Love our enemies and do good to them, even when you don't feel like it.

So there are a few things that I learned from this conversation. 

1. If I teach my kids something I better make sure that I practice it or I am going to find myself asking them for forgiveness (which is bound to happen sometimes anyway).

2. My boys will come to my defense (at least if it means verbally attacking their sister)

3. Apparently siblings are in a different category from enemies, so it is OK to call them names

They were supposed to smile

They were supposed to be serious

They were suppose to be funny

If you have anything kind of funny that you have learned from your children please comment below. I would love to hear it.

Cleaning up the crap - Life Lessons from a 3 year old.

Having a 3 year old is one of the greatest joys you can experience. It is also one of the greatest challenges you can face. A 3 year is so impressionable, but they also really like to push their limits and test their boundaries. Sometimes when you speak to them they listen intently as if your words were the only ones that matter; other times they run right past you as if they never heard you. One thing is certain, having a 3 year old (or child in general) will leave you with plenty of those times when in the moment you want to cry, but looking back at it you will laugh hysterically at the shear ridiculousness of the situation. This is one of those moments. I hope you can laugh a little, and then take away a truth that will help you in your walk with God.

Nicole (my wife) was gone on a women's retreat with our church. I was spending the weekend with my 4 children. It was Saturday afternoon and I had a movie on that I was in and out of watching with the kids. At one point I am sitting on the couch and notice that my 3 year old, Jaden, is missing. As any good father would do I yell down the hall because I am too lazy to get up off the couch.

"Jaden?" I yelled.

"What dad?" I hear from down the hall.

"What are you doing?" I asked, still not wanting to get up.

"Pooping!" he replies.

Normally this might not be too concerning, but Jaden is still in the middle of potty training. He knows that he is supposed to go to the bathroom in the toilet and he is perfectly capable of getting on there himself, but it is still questionable if he will. Too often he would make it to the bathroom too late, after already doing the duty in his pants. Most of the time we still use a diaper for him; he has learned to pull it up and down like a pull-up, but this afternoon was different. You see, Jaden had already used the toilet a couple of times that day. He even went poop already that morning with no issues, but the last time that he went in there he took his diaper off. I had thought about it and since he had already pooped and was doing really good with going potty I didn't worry too much and figured I would take care of it in a little bit.

So that is why his response had me a little worried. I quickly got off the couch and hurried to the bathroom. When Jaden told me he was pooping I knew it could be trouble, but I was not really prepared for what I found. As I stepped into the doorway to the bathroom it took me a minute to process what was unfolding before me. Jaden's pants were on the floor next the floor rug. He was standing wearing only his shirt and he had toilet paper in his hand. I continued to assess the situation and saw there was poop on the rug and all over the floor, which had been tracked around from his foot which was covered from his toes all the way up his leg.

This is the part where you feel like crying, or yelling, or pulling out your hair, or whatever you do to release frustration. After the initial shock wears off I am left with the question, "Where do I start?" If I start with him I will inevitably  step in the 'crap' on the floor. If I start with the floor he will likely move and create more of a mess. I quickly pick him up and stick him in the tub, then proceed to collect all of the clothes and towels and the rug that have poop on them and get them in the washer. Then I clean the floor and flush the toilet, which he had filled up with toilet paper as he was trying to clean up his mess. Lastly, I moved to him and the bath tub and cleaned him up.

Now, here's the breakdown of what happened. Jaden had been hanging out with us and then must have realized that he needed to go to the bathroom. Without telling anyone, he heading to the bathroom, but was too late. Once in the bathroom he attempted to take his pants off so he could clean himself up, but in doing so he pulled his leg and foot through the poop that had filled up his pants. As he tried to clean it up he kept making it worse and inevitably left his mark everywhere he went and on everything he touched. Then I found him, standing in the midst of a mess that he could not fix.

Based on the title of this post I promised a 'life lesson' from this situation. Technically, I don't know if you would consider it a life lesson, or just a picture of our lives and our struggle with sin. Think about it. How many times have you known what you were supposed to do, but you did the opposite, kind of like my son did in this situation. Then, realizing that you messed up you try to clean it up yourself. As you do you inevitably make a bigger mess than when you started until everything that you touch becomes infected with your sin. It becomes a hopeless situation.

That's when the Father steps in and picks you up out of it. Now, we must understand that just because he picks us out of our mess it does not mean we are completely free of it right away. Sometimes there is a process involved. With my son, I had to clean up the mess in the rest of the bathroom before I started on him. Meanwhile, he had to patiently wait on me and trust that I was going to take care of him.

I think there are times we get ourselves into trouble because we try to get back out into the 'world' before God is done working on us. If my son had gotten out of the bathtub before I was finished cleaning him up he would have continued to make a mess and gotten himself into more trouble.

So, I guess all in all, the lesson that we can learn from this is that when we do screw up we don't have to try to clean it up ourselves, in fact we really can't. We don't have the ability to.

If Jaden had made it to the toilet before pooping he would have been fine, but once he made the error, it became a situation that was out of his control. And if he had come to me at that time it would have been a lot quicker and easier to clean up, but since he tried to handle it on his own it became worse.

In the same way if we avoid the sin to begin with there is no issue, but if we do sin we must recognize that it is beyond our ability to fix it. If we go to God right away we will avoid making a bigger mess, but if we do not go to Him it will only get worse until we do.

So, if you mess up, go to God first. Don't let the situation get more out of control. Confess to Him your sin and let Him cleanse you and set you free. The sooner you let God take control, the less of a mess you will be in.

Life and Kids: Random Thoughts

In today's world it is so difficult to now what is right and wrong in raising our children. We want to protect our kids, but we don't want them to be shell shocked when they get in to the world. It is natural to try and give your kids a better life than the one we had as kids, learn from our parent mistakes, but then we make all new ones. How spoiled is too spoiled? How strict is to strict? I don't have the answers to all these questions, but one thing I do have is the bible. As God's children it is like His instruction manual to us; a guide to life, if you will. So as we raise our children we should be looking to it for answers.

Recently I was reading a post that my brother wrote in his blog titled "An Ideal for dads" where he presents an idea. The idea is to buy a bible for your child, but don't give it to them right away. Instead, read it and write notes in it over a ten year period, then give it to them. It doesn't matter when you give it to them, on their 10 year birthday (having started when they were a newborn) or at graduation, or even later in life, depending on how old your child is. This will be a way you can prophesy and speak life into your child through the Scripture. I thought this was a great idea, but it got me thinking.

A few days before that I was reading in Proverbs and a verse jumped out at me, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Prov. 22:6). We have heard this verse many times before, but have we stopped to think about what it is really saying. It doesn't say "raise" a child in the way he should go, it specifically uses the word "train". When you enter training for something it is because you want to learn a skill or become good at something. If you want to play football you would train for football. You would have a coach, go to practices at least once a day; in essence you would live football. It would be in your thoughts and mind all day long. But if you train all the time for football, you will probably be a lousy baseball player. What are you training your kids for?

Training our kids is more than just protecting them. Yes, you want to protect your children from the "world" and all the bad that is in it. That is natural, but we must do more than that. There will come a time when our kids will have to make decisions for themselves. They need to know how to do it. How to choose what is right or what is good for them. It is our duty as parent to protect them, but we must also teach them to make these decisions on their own. As my children are young I sometimes struggle with the balance between this. Many of their decisions we make for them, like bedtime and what's for dinner. There are times however when we need to let them make some decisions and learn from them. Think about it this way. Are you training them to be a good child or an effective adult? Sometimes letting go is the hardest thing.


I am the father of four children between the ages of 2 and 8 and I am far from figuring out how to do everything right. One thing I did figure out: with each new kid I realized I had a lot more to learn. It's like the old saying, "the more I know, the more I realize I don't know." I'm not saying this to scare anyone out of having kids, but to open your eyes to the fact that all kids are different. There is no "secret" to parenthood that will make everything better. Just because something works great on one kid doesn't mean it will work on the next one. Don't let your kids run your life, but be open and attentive to their wants and needs and let them teach you.


Experience is sometimes the best teacher. Have you had someone give you advice about how to raise your children that has never had any? I used to get frustrated with this. Now I just smile and laugh inside because they have no idea, and I'm going to be there when they figure it out. :) But really, if you have a question about something consult those who have been there before. Proverbs 13:20 says, "He who walks with the wise grows wise." This goes for parenting as well. If you know someone that has already raised their kids and was successful at it, go to them. Take their advise and then personalize it to you and your child.


Lead by example. Another thing I have learned as I grow as a parent is this lesson. You can tell your kid something until you are blue in the face, but until they start to see you doing it, they will never get it. If you want your child to take their dishes to the kitchen after dinner, start doing it yourself. Clean up after yourself and your kids will start to do the same. Are your kids disrespecting and talking back to their mother (or father)? Take a look at how you are treating your spouse. I find that most of the things that irritate me the most about my kids are the bad habits they learned from me.


To be a parent is more than just protecting your child and telling them what to do. You need to live life with them. Join with them in their successes and help them in their failures. Teach them how to live by living yourself. Let them join into life with you. It may not always be convenient for you, but it will change their life. If you want your child to live a godly life, let them see you do it. This really works. Here's an example from my life:


My oldest son Tristen is 8 years old. He is my mini-me, all my bad and all my good. Now I spend time daily in the Word and I have a note book that I write verses in from my daily reading. Then I later write out the verses in another note book and write my thoughts about what I read. This is where the majority of my blog posts originate. I've been doing this for awhile and my kids have noticed. One day Tristen comes up to me and shows me a notebook that he's been writing in. I take a look at it and see that he has been writing out bible verses. And this is his own doing. He learned by watching me.


I tell this story to illustrate my point. We must spend time living with our kids, we must lead by example, and we shouldn't expect our kids to do something that we ourselves would not even do. Our kids will learn most by watching us in action. Show them how to live. Teach them how to make good choices. And most of all just Love them for who they are.